Chris (C, of C&A)

User and Losers and Law Should Drum Up Business

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:03:05 GMT

So plenty of people have been talking about a law that will allow bicyclist in Oregon to pass through stop signs without any worry of actually stopping. They must, however, proceed "slowly and safely" although there is no actual speed or definition of slowly or safely.

This is an extremely retarded law. With bicyclist constantly flaunting their cycling rights at the risk of mutilation via asphalt, this will just cause more people to get hit by cars. No, really. I've seen it. I've seen bicyclist break themselves just to show that they were right and that the big nasty SUV and its huge carbon foot print was in the wrong.

Example: Saturn SUV was trying to sneak to the right, and in doing so he occluded a bike lane. The way he was doing this technically put him in the wrong. Per bystanders on scene, the bicyclist headed straight ahead and braced prior to impact, never once hitting his brakes. He freely admitted this as we went to the hospital and he talked about how much money he was going to "rape out of that guy's asshole." No, he does not represent all bicyclist. But yes, there are many others just like him.

However, call volume has been low as many do not have insurance. Now with any luck we can bump off a few morons trying to prove incredibly stupid points, while at the same time raising money for the local EMS community.

People are truly stupid.

--Chris
P.S. I don't actually want anyone to die proving a point. It is just sad when that is what it will take to make people realize the law was dumb idea in the first place, IF they ever do.

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 05:33:42 GMT

Jesse and I recently went to Yellowstone National Park. I would have to say this was one of the funnest adventures I've been on, if not the funnest. We road tripped it out there and camped amongst the wild life and French people, our campsite being of one of many small lots offering little to no privacy.

I cannot really describe the whole vacation. People write entire books on this stuff, and they are not attempting to describe the place while viewing it with someone you love. For me to do both would take more than the brief spot of time I have set aside to make a measly entry in this seldom viewed journal.

What I will say is that we were chased by a bison. We saw landscapes, canyons and rivers that seemed endless and untouched, in spite of the many tourist around. We white water rafted. We curled up in sleeping bags and made jokes about our retarded camp-neighbors. We took so many pictures, pictures that I dread posting for the simple fact that they would play down the experience. We saw a bear. We saw Elk. Deer approached as if they didn't care.

You always worry that when you get married things will fade and you'll grow apart. And, surely, Jesse and I are still practically newly weds. But I can proudly say that we make a damn awesome team, and we had a fucking great time. Over one week completely side by side and loving every minute of it.

---END MOOSH GOOSH

In other news, no real spectacular calls recently, however a fire fighter made the most awesome on scene observation ever.

So we get called to a grave yard for "unknown medical" (that's the best kind). As we enter the grave yard we note one enshrined head stone. It looked like a floral truck lost a load on this thing. Back behind the yard was a lady, lying in the underbrush. Her left wrist was marked by a long, "down the highway" laceration. Her head was encircled by a small halo of empty Vicodin bottles. Her entire body was surrounded by white candles. To top it off, a small, sad suicide note was found as well.

This lady tried really hard, and the worst part is we likely saved her. However, amongst our ambulance crew was a gaggle of back woods fire fighters. Although these guys have my respect for other reasons, their medical prowess is not one of them. Suicide Sally wasn't breathing, but she had a pulse and we had Narcan (reverses narcotic effects... rapidly). The narcan worked, but she could easily vomit up all of her pills and aspirate, creating another huge issue. So I reached into one of our many bags and pulled out a device called a KING-LT Airway. This little device is placed into the esophagus, where a balloon is inflated to block it. Another balloon inflates to fill the oral cavity. There is a tube that runs through the first balloon and opens between the two. Any air going through said tube has only one path to take: the one that leads to the lungs. It is this device that sparked the intellectual comment from one of our fire fighter.

I should mention that the whole time that everyone was working, this particular gentleman was running about, doing nothing productive besides stating how hard its going to be to move this patient to the ambulance. What he also mentioned was that the KING-LT has a certain shape to it...

"Remove the OPA, I'm going to drop a King." I say, as I unwrapped this brand new device.
"Wow, it looks like a cock and balls!" Said our hyped up fire-fighting friend.

Thank you, sir, for your medical contribution to this scene.

I give him credit though....

It totally looks like a cock and balls.

--Chris

Crazy Paramedic days!

Wed, 21 May 2008 19:04:42 GMT

I'm a TV star!

Not really... there was a still image featuring the back of my head, and one featuring my right side:
But watch this video: http://www.kgw.com/video/video-index.html?nvid=247077

I'm the guy in the front of the gurney pulling it toward the helicopter in he white shirt... an no helmet.
(For those using FireFox, you may have some issues... dunno why, all other vids on the site work fine... so use explorer if you have probs)

And look!

I'm, again, the guy in the white shirt and no helmet.

I might post later the details of this call, but as of now its a little too recent to make comments about.

So my first few weeks as a Paramedic have been nothing short of insane. Crazy call after crazy call.

--Chris

The End is Somewhat Close!

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:10:02 GMT

In three days, my educational journey will conclude... I don't mean this in the sense that I will stop learning, but I will have no more use of the educational system set forth in America: The one that rips off the poor, lies about their statistics, and then proceeds to be praised and generally overlooked by the general public.

Anyways, I will no longer be a Basic, or a Paramedic Intern. I will be a Paramedic.

To say the least, I feel as though all I am gaining is the piece of paper saying so, and not any real education. I had, quite possibly, the most eventful internship of anyone I've ever talked to. I've been working at Metro West Ambulance for 3.5 years. In this time (as an intern or as a Basic) I've had 3 code saves (all in one year... go figure) seen more dead than most will read about, intubated 4 people (only to have them die anyways) pushed more drugs than the Cartel, and the list goes on...

I guess this reflection comes from one interesting day I had in the recent times. A high school ride along was assigned to my shift (51A). The first thing that happened was a rather mundane transfer from a care facility (old folk home) to a doctors appointment, followed by a stiff reminder of how far off the beaten path my own mental state has gone.

The transfer patient was in his 60's and has taken poor care of his body over the years which has landed him an earlier spot in a nursing home. Nothing new really. He asked a lot of questions about my job. I figured, judging by his chart's notation of his previous career history, this was his way of being involved with something he'd never had the commitment to do. It doesn't bother me at all. What does bug me is at the end of it he told me a sounded like I had way too many stories. "Well, we stay busy" I sternly noted. He told me he didn't doubt that. He told me I was a kid that shouldn't have to deal with this kind of responsibility.

In my head I though "Or what? Wait until I'm an unhealthy 60 some, having to ask the 23 year old kid what its like to be proud of yourself?" Later on I would rethink his statement.

Because later on we were called to a vehicle into a building, right in the middle of lunch. The vehicle was a motor cycle, and the building was a brick corner store. Beneath the store's sign, written only in Spanish, was a trashed motorcycle that had bounced off of a brick corner... not really a "crotch rocket" but not really a chopper type either. The brick corner shared the area where our 40 some biker laid. Looking back, we should have left the rider inside the ambulance, because this patient was clearly dead. No helmet in sight, and his head was clearly deformed, resembling a goofy photoshop picture and indicating many, many skull fractures. No pulse, no breathing, fluid coming from the ears. Skin and flesh were removed from large portions of the face and head with a considerable amount of blood. We called it, and then called the Medical Examiner. Normally we don't stick around to wait for the MX once the fire dept. arrives, but we did this time because the MX was so close and we were the ones who called it anyways. The MX confirmed our patients no-hope status and we hopped in our ambulance where I immediately finished my lunch.

What we didn't realize was that our rider had become completely silent and stunned. He requested to go home, which we agreed to. I started thinking "Well, what did he expect to see? He's riding along on an Ambulance... hurt people are attracted to us." My Senior, Scott, and I discussed our rider's departure. He reminded me that it isn't the rider who has things backwards, its us.

So now I think, "how wrong is that?" Normal people, even when they 'expect' to see such things, will react in shock. As did I when I was 16, passing by Prairie High School, witnessing a fatal motorcycle accident.

And I'm not so tough. I'm not tough at all really. These things build up. Every four or five months I have a bad day, where I'm emotional. I usually sit in my car before going home and I think about all of the deaths that happened too soon, or of people who watched me as I confirmed that yes, their four year old son is dead, and there's nothing anyone can do. I think about how stupid I sound when I give the news, as if I have anything to say to someone with that kind of loss. I think how, even with all the training, even when the call is run perfectly with no mistakes, you still can't do anything.

And then its not so bad. In about 20 minutes of just thinking about this stuff, I feel better. I know I'm there to try and give it my absolute best, but I also know that some people will die, and that sits okay with me. And that's what makes me unique.

This post probably sounds cocky and self-praising. But I've found what I'm good at. What makes me stand out from the average person walking down the street.

It's important to know what I'm bad at and where my limits are. But it feels good to discover what I'm great at.

--Chris

P.S. I promise I'll make a post tomorrow outlining what I suck at, just to offset today :)

AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Wed, 02 May 2007 00:38:35 GMT

Paramedic school IS medschool.

To be a paramedic you first need your EMT-Basic (In Clark Co, which is where I got mine, it takes 9-12mo, OR about 3-6mo), then you must complete an Associates degree (Biology) before you can even start actual Paramedic school, which includes an internship, totaling 2 years for the Associates, plus about a year and a half depending on how your internship goes. So thats about 4 to 5 years to be able to practice, and they will likely extend it to about 6 years withing the next while.

You would really be stunned about how much I get to learn, and how much I already know. I am not trying to brag, I'm just stating.

Oh yeah, so my schedule for any given week: WORK - WORK - SCHOOL - SCHOOL - SCHOOL - WORK - WORK.

No days off. And somehow my internship needs to be fit in.

Anyways, the reason I felt like being pissy about this is that most people think Paramedics drive the ambulance and know CPR. Oh yeah, and we poke people with needles. To really know what a Paramedic can do, you have to be one. Unfortunatly, most people think they have a rough idea of what a Paramedic does, and then respects them according to a WAY OFF BASE image.

I think I know how a high school teacher feels now.

--Chris

Pic-a-ture

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 01:38:37 GMT

Make a little

Been a crazy while since I've posted here...

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 03:57:17 GMT

Okay, long time no post (OMG NO ONE HAS EVER TAHT BEFORE!!!11one!), so allow me to catch yall up.

Love Life

-Met a girl named Jesse
-Moved in with said girl
-Got engaged to said girl
-Getting married Dec. 29th, 2007 at Camp Colton

Work/School Life

-EMT Basic at MetroWest Ambulance
-Got accepted into Paramedic School
-Applied to Tualatin Valley Fire and Rescue
-Test Febuary
-Paramedic Extrication/Rescue Class
-Was Team Leader for record holding Team for Car Extrication and Heavy Object Cribbing
-Crisis Intervention Class

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 00:30:12 GMT

"Your search - Nuclear Gyno-Osteo Java Thermo Quantum Regulatory Encephalography Cohesionary Hypothesis - did not match any documents. "

What kind of bullshit search engine result is that?

Peice of shit google.

--Chris

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 04:34:06 GMT

My girlfriend is great.

We're gonna plan a vacation weekend soon.

--Chris

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 09:25:08 GMT

I cannot stand over-zealous feminism.

Men and women equal? I believe in it, I vote for it, I argue for it... In case anyone was thinking I didn't.

This was ignited by a comment in someone else's journal from a old friend of mine. Something to the tune of "I want girls to get into video games because they like the games, not the boys." Now, no offense to the poster of the comment, but what is wrong with someone doing something soley because you like the person who does it?

Now its true that it can create some problems when you fake who you are for someone else, which is undoubtably what you(the comment poster) meant. However, I believe that not only is trying someone else's hobby healthy for a relationship, it something that is almost necessary for a successful relationship.

Case in point: Jesse and me. Although we have not been dating long enough to determine it a complete success, I would say I'm happy with the way its all going. And we try out each other's hobbies all the time. Example, I've never been surfing. Ever. I tried it and liked, mostly because we got to spend a weekend with each other. I'm not about to go buy a surfboard. Also, she's been shooting with me. She's still for gun control.

Here's my beef: I hear all the time women saying they should never change themselves for a man, yet men are nearly always expected to change for a woman. If we don't go do stuff they like to do with them, or if we don't listen to them just the right way, we get labeled as assholes or insensitive. But, for a woman to be expected to lift a finger would set an over-zealous, or even just the trigger-happy, feminist over the edge.

Now for a disclaimer: I am in no way saying it is right for men to ignore women and for women to stay in the kitchen. I believe that is wrong. But this idea that because for so long women were expected to revolve around a man that they should never give again is absolutly absurd.

BOTH people need to give EQUALLY. Both people need to change a little here and there. Both need to spend time biting the bullet and getting involved with their significant other's hobby.

It's not fair to say that a woman shouldn't change for a man, or that a man shouldn't change for a woman.

Is it not normal to make sacrifices for the ones you love?

I can't wait until I'm expected to get pregnant, too.

--Chris

(Sara! I am NOT saying you are a over-zealous feminist... your comment was barely even related to this post, it just got my brain snowballing.)

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 06:51:00 GMT

Pictures of the Sniper Rifle I just finished:

Original Base: Remington Model 700
Caliber: .300 Winchester Magnum

--Chris

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 05:40:21 GMT

..And I realized i have a girlfriend.

She's great. And a good lay. But aside that, she's great. I actaully feel like there are two people in this relationship... instead of one trying extra hard.

Shes hot, too.

--Chris

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 04:03:25 GMT

Do you support the Iraq war?

http://democracyforamerica.com/memo_movie.php

It's 60 seconds long. If you don't know what the Downing Street Memo is, or why it's important, watch it. If you want to post this in your LJ, just copy and paste this, along with these instructions.

--Chris

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 17:15:37 GMT

So yeah, I've kinda got a girlfriend but nothings official. For now we just mess around, but we'll see how it all goes. She's hot and spending time with her is always fun. ESPECAILLY when, well, that's a little more private... but there are complications. Her brother is a good friend of mine and her mom is my boss. But that shit dont matter to me.

Right now I'm drinking beer and eating pizza. Its fun. She's coming over again Wedensday. Yay!

Oh and the Alex and Emma drama: ENTERTAINMENT 2-NITE!

Not that its really truly a laughing matter, but lj's been missing the mass drama since High School up and ended... but there's always a few who will bring it on back for us ;)

Just messing with you guys! Have a good one.

--Chris

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 20:35:22 GMT

Lots of things are awesome these days. I'm a happy camper.

--Chris

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 03:00:14 GMT

Days can really drag on when someone else owns your mind.

--Chris

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 06:59:34 GMT

I just cant wait until the weekend... I'm going camping with some coworkers, and one of them is Jesse. She's awesome. Alex (her brother... not Harris, although that'd rock too) is also cool. Itll be fun... well, obviously cuz of the beer and all, which will also make an appearance.... :)

--Chris

GOOD SONG BOUT GOOD STUFF

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:04:38 GMT

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie.
I can make you pick a fight,
With somebody twice your size.

I've been known to cause a few break-ups.
And I've been known to cause a few births.
I can make you new friends...
Or get you fired from work.

And since the day I left Milwaukie
Lynchberg, and the Port of France.
Been making the bars lots of big money...
And helpin' white people dance

I got you in trouble in High School,
But college, now that was a ball!
You've had some of the best times,
You'll never remember with me...
...Alcohal!
...Alcohal!

I got blamed at your wedding reception...
For your best mans embarrasing speech.
And also for those naked pictures of you
at the beach.

I've influenced kings and world leaders.
I helped Hemmingway write like he did.
And i'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lamp shade on your head!

And since the day I left Milwaukie
Lynchberg, and the port of France.
Been making the bars lots of big money...
And helpin' white people dance

I'm innocent and I am poison
I can help you make up for your faults.
You've had some of the best times,
You'll never remember with me...
...Alcohal!
...Alcohal!

And since the day I left Milwaukie
Lynchberg, and the Port of France.
Been making the bars lots of big money...
And helpin' white people dance

I got you in trouble in High School,
But college, now that was a ball!
You've had some of the best times,
You'll never remember with me...
Alcohal!
Alcohal!

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 08:28:25 GMT

So fuck what I just wrote.

Went to the hooka bar with Jesse aaaaaaaaaaand Rachel. They're fun, but we all seemed a little disconnected. Lately i've been as disconnected as hell. Work and school, you know. Anyways, I told Jesse's brother (on the phone) that she can't talk because she's too busy sucking. What the fuck was I thinking? It was funny as fuck, don't get me wrong, but I know on a certain level that obviously bugs him, and getting my ass handed to me tends to bug me.

Jess and I made a retarded cake for my dad this morning. He thought it was awesome. He's 57.

--Chris

Fri, 20 May 2005 09:07:13 GMT

Work Work work... and then... wo... rk.
To recap on what I've done since my last post:

(oh yes... I feel a run-on sentence...)

went shooting with kyle we brought old computer parts to blow up and did it was fun pictures later but before that on some saturday went with jesse a girl i work with to her sororities ball thing we got soooo plastered before we got there that we had to leave do to massive sickness mostly on her part but i caught up later it was funny because i passed out in the bathroom until a buncha other drunken people needed to get in and made me come out also because of my incredible hang over the next day i didnt do a whole lot of anything either way it was still fun especially because jess kept saying christopher robin again and again and again but tomarrow is the ems week bbq so guess what i get to work through it although i will definatly be stealing a plate or two here and there also i finally was able to talk to alex for the first time in a while and he was either drunk or asleep or sick not sure which.

Oh! And then there's today!

Work started off with a bang because I had to work with bogdan but thankfully jesse was there to suppliment and help me maintain my sanity anyways it turned out some people put something that looked like anthrax into two of our ambulances so yeah it got checked out by HAZMAT who okayed us and by us i mean jesse to wrap up in bio gowns and clean the fuckers out which she did while bog and i continued to work on the remaining units but lo and behold someone bled all over in another ambulance and that too needed cleaning so clean we did.

Gnight!

--Chris

Tue, 10 May 2005 17:33:13 GMT

I just did the funnest thing in the entire fucking world.

And I can't talk about it. Doesn't that suck?

I just had to write about. I'm filled with so much goddamn glee I cannot fucking contain it.

*BURST*

--Chris

Mon, 09 May 2005 02:58:49 GMT

Can I take someone shooting?

A buddy of mine showed me the awesomest place to shoot out in the boons. The view is awesome (its way up on Larch Mountain) and there is almost no one else there, except the occasional off-roader who passes by.

So if anybody wants to shoot, let me know. I have hand guns, machine guns, sniper guns...

:)

--Chris

Tue, 03 May 2005 11:48:12 GMT

To anyone interested (probably only KC) I'm selling one of my rifles.

It's a Remington 700 ADL, chambered in .3006. Comes with a Bushnell AllWeather Scope (3-9X) and mounted useing Leopold rings.

Price: $300

It's cheap for a reason though. I bought the base rifle (no scope or rings) for $400. However, this rifle taught me one thing: No matter how hard you try, a barrel will NOT come off without the proper tools. This cost me the rear site and put some scratches in the barrel. So I figured I'd plop on a scope and resell it for 350 at the local shop, but figured I'd offer it first to people I know at $50 under that.

If you want to shoot it before you buy it, by all means let me know. We'll go to the range and bring some of my other guns along and we'll have a grand old time. Also, I'll site the rifle in at whatever range you want, upto 200 yards (although 100 is recommended). The rifle performs 100%, is mounted to a lightweight synthetic stock and has a nice recoil pad.

Comment if you're interested.

--Chris

Mon, 02 May 2005 12:18:44 GMT

I know this doesn't matter for most of you, but for the love of god, I need to post this:

There seems to be legions of people who want to make sniper rifles out of AR15's.

STOP.

This is one of the most insanely stupid tasks anyone could embark on. For fucks sake, it shoots a damn 5.56mm bullet! Sure, it can technically carry for over a mile, but if a fuckin' humming bird farts in a neighboring state, the resulting wind force will knock it off course once you go past 400 meters.

Also, the 5.56 is utterly useless after 200 meters! After about 200, the bullet has completely rotated! The tip is now facing the other direction. So what does this mean? Your bullet lost so much force that it wont penetrate deeply into anything at all.

Now, some people will justify it by saying they are using it to hunt varmint. You know, gophers and squirrels. To those people: If you honestly feel that you need to be 200-400 meters away to kill a squirrel that my fucking neighbor kids used to kill with BB guns, then you are a full bucket of retard.

----------

But anyways. I took the KMP700 out yesterday. Shot within the same square inch at 100 yards, in the same 4 inch at 300. Its a beast and a half... and it actually functions as a sniper rifle in case I need to assassinate the president.

--Chris

Mon, 02 May 2005 05:05:50 GMT

Alex and (sorta)Emma:

The last post was a "pissed-with-humor" post. Not conveyed well through an lj post, but hey. Don't take it serisouly. I'm not just sitting around like an angry troll in my apartment-cave.

But seriously, would actually calling maybe once in a while hurt? Don't think I'm losing sleep over this, believe me I'm not. And Alex, you are perfectly able to hang without Emma. Same to you Emma.(hahahahahHAhahAH! Why did I even TYPE that shit?!?! Comedic gold, baby!)

So yeah. I'm taking this light heartedly, because that's how you'de take it anyway. It never matters if I'm actually truly pissed off enough to yell and be an angry troll, because in the end I'm just angry and you're.... somewhere?

Anywho, it would be great if we could hang out soon. I start training for my new position in about 2 weeks. Then, my work hours will range from 44 to 56.

--Chris